The Students that we Serve are growing up in an era where respect is being redefined. Yet, we want and most of the time deserve old fashioned respect.

The kind of respect that is attached to age, uniform, or position. The kind that many of us grew up giving. The hard truth is that respect is no longer given, it is earned.

We are asking students to do something that they have no idea what it is, or how to give it. The question is how do we gain back an era that respect is a norm?

Rather than spending time, emotion, and resources towards how things ought to be, begin deploying in a direction you have total control in. Here are seven activities that over time will produce mutual respect. The kind that is on a two way street. both given and received from student and those who Serve them.

Replace the Mirror

Give students respect to look at between you and those you work with as well as those you Serve. Take down the one way mirror and replace it with a two-way mirror. Allow them to see, hear, and feel measurable respect that is not earned. It is given because of age, uniform, or position.

Establish new name calling

Begin to address your colleagues and those you Serve as Miss, Mrs, or Mr. and use either their first or last name?


Your smile along with brief eye contact communicates respect, give it often. It demonstrates that you honor the privilege to serve along side of your staff. It also, shows those you Serve that you count it as an honor to be in their presence.

Pattern what you expect

Our actions come from our attitude and thoughts. Those we Serve may not know exactly what we are thinking or our attitude towards them, yet they sense it’s not about respect. The truth is not everyone will respond in kind towards how we think and treat them, yet many will. Give them a great pattern to follow.

Elevate others in your heart

Begin long before your colleagues and students are in front of you to elevate them in your thoughts. How you think of them prior to arriving in your presence, determines how you are treat them with your words and actions.

Capture and communicate the good

Seek and expect to see good in others; what you expect you will find. The moment you find the good say it out loud. Pause and point to it, repeat it often. As you highlight the good it will show up more often.

Transfer the highest to those you Serve

It seems backward, yet, taking the lower position in order to give the higher to another will cause respect to flourish. Open the door, wait for others to sit, saying thank you and your welcome are simple ways to give respect.

Let me suggest to give the seven activities an experimental season of use. Over the next 21 days live each of them with your staff and the students you Serve. After you have spent a full three weeks with them, look back and notice the level of respect that has found its way into your world.

Then, and only if the respect you’ve craved has grown, let others know what you’ve been doing and ask for them to come on board with the 21 day respect experiment.

Matt Upton, your fellow Leapologist

Call or Text me anytime at 916.708.8103