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Preserving Your Emotional Real Estate

Preserving Your Emotional Real Estate

When you or a friend finds yourself stuck on emotional and relationship repeats, Your mind recycles old stuff, seems as though you’ve lost your intuition to take care of yourself, you’ve become more reactive than in control, and you just can not trust anyone, then you may be in need of some take back your emotional real estate strategies!

Strategy #1

Lighten up on yourself; everyone goes through Emotional Overload from time to time. You are not the only one who falls into the black hole of emotional turmoil. If you give yourself a break and see it for what it is, just temporary, then it is likely to pass as fast as it showed up.

Strategy #2

Do not react to quickly. Remember emotions are masqueraders much of the time. They dress up as something they are not, they love to appear as one thing and be another. They (many times) cannot be trusted, nor relied upon. Sometimes they are like vapor; they appear for a moment and just as quickly disappear.

Strategy #3

Emotions are sustained and cultivated through our thoughts and words. The power of emotion is controlled by the way we think and speak of them; they exist within the frame of our perspective, which creates perception.

No person other than yourself has control over your emotions. Our perceptions of people and how they are supposed to treat us, determine our emotions. Therefore when we change our expectations of how people should treat us, then we begin to take back our emotional real estate. When we bring our view of people into line with reality, then we can begin to regain control of our emotions.

Strategy #4

Liberate people and predicaments from your version of life. One of the greatest reasons we lose our ability to be emotionally healthy is that we want everyone and everything to perform to our version of how things ought to be. Allowing people to be free from our vision of how things ought to be will result in taking ownership of our emotional real estate.

Strategy #5

Observe life through the lens of a learner rather than a lamenter. Viewing the events of your life through the proper lens is critical in taking back your emotions. Emotions are your servant, not the other way around. Begin today to ask yourself more “what am I supposed to learn” and less “why does this always happen to me” questions. When you ask the “why” question, begin to frame it like this; why is this happening and what am I supposed to learn or adjust in my life?”

This seemingly small adjustment of asking what and why questions will have majestic results on perception and perspective resulting in a life giving emotions rather than a life taking emotions.

Strategy #6

Validate the time people and predicaments get to park in your thought life garage. You are the owner of the parking garage of your thought life. Determine how long people and situations get to stay there. You decide who is in short-term parking, long-term parking, and who gets to park in the VIP section. After their time has run out; have tow them out!

No longer validate the parking pass of anyone or anything you do not want in your thought garage.

Those you allow in your thought garage will become what you think about. What you think about, you will begin to talk about. What you think about and talk about you will eventually experience emotion over, and act upon.

Strategy #7

Elevate through elimination. There are people, processes, and predicaments that we allow to become part of our everyday life that do nothing to bring elevation in our lives. Once we commit ourselves to personal elevation then these people, processes, and predicaments will be eliminated. Some will disappear quickly and some will vanish over time.

The purpose of the slow vanishing of your three “P’s” is to test your resolve for personal elevation. Your life is yours to decide how you want to live it. It takes commitment and stamina to stay on course to personal elevation.

As you begin to use these seven strategies they will do three things for you. One, is they will increase your soul’s strength and stamina through difficult situations. They will increase your souls defense system in recognizing who and what gets the privilege to be in your VIP section, and they will give you the courage to embrace the elimination of those people, processes, and predicaments that do not elevate you and your life.

When I can be a servant to you in deploying these strategies, just ask. You can reach me at, call or text me at 916.708.8103.

For further discussion on this subject plan to call my Tuesday Morning “Thought-Filled Coffee/Tea Chat” at 6:30am (California Time). The phone number is 805.399.1000 and your participation code is 593915. The call is just 35 minutes long and will be packed with insightful suggestions and all seven strategies in preserving your emotional real estate.

Understanding Our RIPPLE Affect

There are times through our life’s journey that we forget that our thoughts, words, and actions have an affect on other people. For some of you my choice of using the word “affect” rather than “effect” is creating a Ripple affect in your soul?

I choose this word “affect” because i think that it is the affect that creates effect in those around us. It is important that we understand and take responsibility for our thoughts, words, and actions.

After listening to this 23 minute Thought-Filled Tuesday morning recording that contains Six keys to Understanding Your Ripple Affect, let me know your thoughts.

You can share your thoughts here in the comments section, or you can email me at, or you can call/text me at 916.708.8103


Serving My Children

Eight-year-old Sarah rides quietly in the back seat on the way to school while her Mom is texting and driving. Multiple emotions flood through Sarah as they pull up to be dropped off at school.

She wonders what or if her Mom will say anything to her as she gets out of the car, or will she just stay focused on the text chat she is having? Will, the kids make fun of her today because of her size, her outfit, or her hair? What will her teacher say when she hands in her homework? Yet, the emotion that brings a smile across her face is the thought of seeing Ms Patricia and Mr. Jared at breakfast.

Across America there are children similar to Sarah who struggle with their family, friends, and school experiences, and yet look forward to seeing their very own Lunch Gal and Guy.

The Ms Patricia’s and Mr. Jared’s of the school restaurant and café’s are serving because their passion for students. Most begin their service with a goal of spending quality time with their own children. Then, something happened to them, all the kids at school became their children too.

Every Ms Patricia and Mr. Jared have a unique special connection with some students over the rest. One of the reasons is they see with in the Sarah’s that they serve, themselves. They see and re-experience their past, and want to be the person for Sarah that they never had. I think this is why the Mr. Jared’s and Ms Patricia’s return year after year to serve in their school restaurant or café, is to be available for their children.

As Sarah stands in line for her breakfast, she is not looking at the menu board; she is looking for her lunch gal or guy. Because they are more important to her than what’s going to be given to her to eat. As she gets closer to the front of the line, she anticipates when Ms Patricia will look at her and they will see each other. And, for the first time all morning someone will look at her eyes and see the real Sarah and call her by her name.

Lunch Gals and Guys serve nutritious great tasting food every day that enhance the lives of students, yet the greatest thing on the menu is what they give to their students from their heart. They serve food and change lives.

The best thing about our school Restaurants and Cafes are the Ms Patricia’s and Mr. Jared’s.


Call or Text me at 916.708.8103


Eavesdropping, more than I bargained for

Recently, while sitting in a restaurant waiting for my lunch to be  brought to me, I was doing something that I am certain none of you  have ever done. Yes, I was listening in on a conversation behind me.  They were having a grand old time talking about people in their  families, at their work, their church, and government officials.

As the conversation intensified, and they began to talk of their faith, I began to think of my own conversations? I wondered what they reflect to those around me? The part that really gave me a soul punch was when they had prayer over their meal and then almost without skipping a beat, jumped right into not so kind words of a well-known leader. Which prompted me to ask myself the following seven questions.

If my faith allows me to look down on others, speak words of destruction of people, laugh and tell jokes about their differences then is it The Faith?

If my faith allows me to gossip, slander, and ridicule others is it The Faith?

If my faith creates fear, shame, condemnation, and a lack of love for others and myself is it The Faith?

If my faith contains me in thinking small of myself, thinking small of others, accepting bad situations as permanent then is it The Faith?

If my faith compels me to speak poorly of leadership, think less of those less fortunate than me, despise the neglected, is it The Faith?

If my faith causes me to walk away from those in need, think ill of them, make fun of them, then is it The Faith?

If my faith directs me to despise difference, destroy others through my words, think of my self as better than others then is it The Faith?

That lunch gave me much more than I bargained for, it gave me a new perspective on my words and what they reflect of who I really am.

I am Matt, and I am your Friend

Call or text me at 916.708.8103

The Faith?

If the faith allows you to look down on others, speak words of destruction of people, laugh and tell jokes about their differences then is it The Faith?

If the faith allows you to gossip, slander, and ridicule others is it The Faith?

If the faith creates fear, shame, condemnation, and a lack of love for others and yourself is it The Faith?

If the faith contains you in thinking small of yourself, thinking small of others, accepting bad situations as permanent then is it The Faith?

If the faith compels you to speak poorly of leadership, think less of those less fortunate than you, despise the neglected then is it The Faith?

If the faith causes you to walk away from those in need, think ill of them, make fun of them then is it The Faith?

If the faith directs you to despise difference, destroy others through your words, think of yourself as better than others then is it The Faith?

Call or Text me at 916.708.8103

Love, Genuine Love

Love, Genuine Love

Love, Genuine Love surpasses the one being loved habits, likes, dislikes, lifestyle choices, budgeting skills, clothing choices, appearance, emotional temperature of the moment, or the ups and downs of attitudes.

Love, Genuine Love is based on a choice by the one doing the loving not on the one being loved.

Love, Genuine Love always wants what is of the highest good for the one being loved.

Love, Genuine Love in your heart, gives life. So, above all keep Love, Genuine Love in your heart for others, for a heart without Love, Genuine love is like a sunless, waterless garden, there is no life.

Love, Genuine Love may be disappointed in the loved ones choices, yet Love, Genuine Love still flourishes with the desire for the one being loved highest good.

Love, Genuine Love will sometimes be taken advantage of, walked on, misunderstood, spoken poorly of, yet Love, Genuine Love remains loyal to its desire for the highest good of the one being loved.

Love, Genuine Love may need to be at a distance because of the choices of the one being loved, yet will always remain true to desiring the highest good for the object of love.

Matt Upton, Your Friend who loves you

Call/Text me at 916.708.8103

A Call to Compassion

I do not know that I have ever posted something like this talk by Monica Lewinsky? Yet, I just finished watching/listening to one of the bravest, compelling talks about what can happen to a person who makes a bad choice and what compassion from others can do to recover us who have made less than honorable choices.

For some of my readers, this will challenge your value system and moral code, yet I also believe it will touch your compassionate heart in a necessary way. Maybe, you have never made a choice that proved to be foolish and damaging to you and your loved ones, maybe you have never suffered under the weight of shame, yet I believe you have a heart that is compassion sensitive. Genuine compassion opens the gates to conversation which creates connection. It is through authentic connection that transformation takes root and grows.

Listen/watch the entire talk and my hope is that you will hear our need to express compassion through both our written and verbal words.

While listening/watching I am reminded of another woman who was caught in the very act of a bad decision. She was thrown to the feet of the man Jesus and as her accusers waited for His comments, He knelt and ran His finger through the dirt. His comments are filled with wise compassion. He first speaks to the accusers and gives them permission to do as they will based on their own purity. He then ask her where have all your accusers gone, she has no answer? Then, He shows her the way of personal compassion and says go your way and do not do this again. Releases her from the consequences of her unwise and dreadful choice.

Each and everyday I applaud those of you that live compassion towards others. You are the one who make the difference and return the possibility of life to us who have suffered at the hand of our own unwise choices. Most of us have needed compassion from others because of our foolish and unwise choices. Yet, the most powerful compassion may be the compassion you demonstrate to yourself. When you turn your focus from what you did and its consequences, toward what you have learned through it and what you will do differently from now on, you are free to serve others.

Forgiveness is the key. Compassion is the answer. Speak Up for others.

I welcome your thoughts and feelings of love and compassion.

Call/Text 916.708.8103


1010 Shoe Project for Families in Need

Every year I am asked, “Matt, what do you want for your birthday?” this year I have an answer. I want to give away 1010 shoes to families in need. I want to connect and collaborate with you on October 10th at 10:10am give away 1010 pairs of new shoes to families in need in 10 different cities.

We are looking for New Shoes to give away. You can either buy a new pair or buy a gift card and send it to me or give it to your local 1010 Shoe Project coordinator and we will convert it into shoes.

You may be one of those people who have a passion to connect with me and collaborate in placing 1010 brand new shoes on the feet of families in need? If this is you, let me know and lets communicate and then begin collecting new shoes that we can give away on October 10, 2015 at 10:10am in 10 different cities.

Here is the link to download the poster/flyer 1010 shoe project flyer. Together we can accomplish amazing things. Imagine what it is going to be like for a student in your community for (maybe) the first time getting a brand new pair of athletic or outdoor shoes that you provided for them.

You can reach me at or call/text me at 916.708.8103 for any additional information.

On behalf of children and students within our communities let me say thank you for providing them with a brand new pair of shoes on October 10, 2015 at 10:10am in 10 different cities.

The “IFF” principle of Marketing

Magnificent Monday Marketing Tip:

The “IFF” principle of Marketing

Having a great product/service is very important in marketing. Yet, the most important marketing tool you have is yourself and your ability to meet a need in your marketplace.

The best Marketing strategy is located in the “IFF” principle of Marketing. It is the “IFF” principle that creates for you Location, Location, Location. People will go out of their way to connect to you. The “IFF” principle is Your Integrity, Friendliness, and Follow-Thru.

You cannot go to a formal training and learn integrity, it is learned through Time, Testing, and Transformation. People want to believe we are people of integrity, they will grant us integrity credits in the beginning of a relationship. We either increase or decrease our credibility of time as we face Testing. Testing is allowed to come into our lives to transform us into bigger and Better people that we once were.

Being friendly is gatekeeper that determines if we get to continue to build upon the initial transaction. If you are not a friendly person, then in time this current opportunity will disappear.

In the midst of your integrity and friendliness being on display, you will need to master follow-thru. At the end of the day this is simply making certain that your “yeses” or in fact a “YES”, and your “no’s” are in fact NO’s. When there is a transformational moment when your yes or no can not come to light, then you re-connect through your friendliness and integrity to those you are serving and be forth-right with them. Take full responsibility for the breakdown as well as getting the product or service to them as soon as possible.

You my fiend are the most important aspect of your service or product. Increase your “IFF” quotient and you will increase your connection and collaboration with people. Increasing your Connection and Collaboration will increase your Cash.

I am Matt, and I am your friend. When I can do anything for just ask.


Call/Text me at 916.708.8103

You make us bigger and better

You make us Bigger and  Better 🙂

You are here to help your family, those you volunteer with, and those you work with to be bigger and better than they believe they are. Those around you have been through many of the very same valleys and mountain top experiences that you have  been through.

As you allow us to see, hear, and feel your journey of success through those experiences we gain the courage and stamina to continue our journey.

We need you. You are Fabulous and have become an example of success for us.

As you have continued to STEP forward, you have given us courage to STEP forward ourselves.

S … Serving to your utmost best is our example

T … Tallying up your wins more than your losses has encouraged us to do the same.

E … Empowering us through your example of stick-to-ive-ness has made the difference for us, when we considered giving up.

P … Pausing to consider wisdom’s way as you have always done, has become our way too.

Thank you for always being a person that continues to STEP forward, even when it seemed quitting would be easier.

call or text me @ 916.708.8103